There's this crazy Jamaican dude who works at my job and has a wacky interpretation of the bible. He equates Colonialism to the Roman Empire and the time the bible said they will rule. He's not a rasta or anything, just a person who looked to religion to define his life because he couldn't deal with it himself.
Yesterday I went to the funeral of the mother of my life long friend. I didn't want to go up and look at her out of fear (I'm guessing because I'm still not sure why) but my boy said I had to go so I went.
I looked at her but I didn't see what I think everybody else saw. She was in a dress and the face was swollen and I felt something. Something I doubt anybody else felt. I wanted to just close the casket. This was only the second funeral and the first was of my god-mother and I was about 17. I didn't look at the body of my god-mother at the funeral but no one really cared because it was so crowded in there people could barely move. But for me to see my boy's mom like that with such a serious face made me want to look away.
What I remember is not what I saw yesterday. I remember her laughing at the summer cook outs. I remember her bugging out with all of us and being the life of the party. I never saw her in a dress and I never saw her with a serious face (which is crazy considering how much we used to get in trouble). I think by seeing her yesterday will present something that I didn't know about her which I'm not sure if I wanted to know.
The serious side of her. But does anyone want to remember someone in a sunday dress and a serious face? I don't, I'm not that type of person. I know right now just by writing that I'm being a selfish person (because I'm just realizing how much I'm typed the letter i) by saying all of this but it's just MY thoughts. I always joked about being cremated but after yesterday I'm 100% sure. I don't want people to see my face. I don't want to see me in a suit... wait a minute. Maybe if someone could cop me a Louis Vuitton joint... naaaawwwww. Anyway, I would just have my family and friends go to my folks house and have something like a house party with a blown up picture of me... I need to start taking some fresh flicks with that in mind.
Why do people still do the same type of funerals. Old rituals that don't seem to make since. I can see why before the time of photos people needed to see the face of the dead because they buried them. But why do people do it now? For some reason Paganism comes to mind. But I don't think someone who interprets the bible literally could see what I'm saying.
But back to the crazy dude at my job. I'm going to ask him what he thinks about funerals on sunday. Sometimes there is a method to madness and it takes someone out of his or her mind to put it in perspective.
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